September 22, 2006

“We have art to save ourselves from the truth.” Nietzsche

what I've tried for myself - and works. read the whole "so you want to be creative?' by hugh macleod here

1. Ignore everybody. (YES!)

2. The idea doesn't have to be big. It just has to change the world. (you and me, baby! you, me, and the power-puff girls)

4. If your big plan depends on you suddenly being "discovered" by some big shot, your plan will probably fail. (don't wait for some else to say you're 'great'; this is a chance you'll have to take)

7. Keep your day job. (I know; this is not what i did; but I'm not the best example to follow; honest! I got away with so many things in my life... the risks I take are always planned, I know myself well, and I'm lucky... I haven't made this work yet)

8. Companies that squelch creativity can no longer compete with companies that champion creativity. (yeah, sure...aaah... that's why i resigned.. i couldn't take the constant pressure to be creative, inventive, smart; maybe we'll get there someday)

9. Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb. (told ya so; see this and this :-)

11. Don't try to stand out from the crowd; avoid crowds altogether. (it's a figure of speach, dip-wit! it doesn't mean you're 'better' than everybody else, just that you need to do your own thing : just because lots of people do something, doesn't make it a good idea; actually...)

12. If you accept the pain, it cannot hurt you. (aaah: very zen, or something; No, not really. pain is pain whichever way you take it: it will hurt. but, take it like a wo/man. don't run cos the it will only stab you in the back - and that hurts even more)

14. Dying young is overrated. (but, as I said, it makes me warm inside knowing I'll always have a Plan B; of course, you wait till the next morning. always wait...)

16. The world is changing. (no kidding)

17. Merit can be bought. Passion can't .

18. Avoid the Watercooler Gang. (i.e. people who tell you to 'calm down', 'take it easy', 'get back in line'.... tell them to fuck off - my way; they don't take it well; and then I have second-thoughts about it ... maybe they're right, why fix if it ain't broken? why change at all?.... or, you can try the gogu kaizer way)

21. Selling out is harder than it looks. (not sure about this one; i guess you need to offer something of value)

22. Nobody cares. Do it for yourself. (... or do it for me, if it makes you feel any better; they don't care)

26. Write from the heart. (yes: it's your emotions that will come through and win your public over; they don't care about what you say...)

27. The best way to get approval is not to need it. (yap. i stil need it. badly - that's why you are the only one reading this)

28. Power is never given. Power is taken. (this is a dangerous, two ways sword - in the wrong hands (ethics) ... yes, 'm looking at You, hitler-wannabe!)

29. Whatever choice you make, The Devil gets his due eventually. (they do say that money is evil; so if you starve to death...; only trying to help here...)

very important:

bette davis said that "the hardest thing to do when you are successful, is finding someone to be happy for you".

It's a good thing to make really sure who your friends are (before you get there): people who like / love you for who you are, not what you can do. When gods fall, their fans simply chose other gods to worship.

Something I learned the hard way: in the most important moments of your life, you are always alone.

September 20, 2006

If you had it ALL, where would you put it?

I'm under siege. And deep down I fear that maybe I should be ashamed to complain about being offered ‘free’ stuff. But, I can't trust something that just pops right into my arms; something I never even asked for.

Call me ungrateful and suspicious, but I believe that nothing really worthy comes for free. Anything of real importance in life must be earned. Sometimes I feel like I stand alone in this line.

My mum buys about 5 magazines weekly, and even though I’ve told her many times that they’re crap, she’s very determined to share. And for some unexplaned reason, I can’t say ‘no’ to women’s magazine.

It takes me about 5 minutes to go through 50-some pages… usually. Today, I stared for a long 30 seconds at page 43, moved on, but then returned to make sure I got it right: the unbelievable promise made by the “great unique lady” who calls herself Eva Gabor.

“As you can easily see, her face reflects devotion and love for fellow humans” (what I could see was this old lady pointing at me with what must have been a seductive, luscious stare; rather strange for her years).

“she’s decided to offer her exceptional help to this magazines’ readers” (lucky us, eh?)

“she can transform anyone’s life into a fabulous destiny”. ANYONE’s!!! anyone’s ?!? aah… why such disbelief in your eyes? Patience! Patience! There’s more!

You see... because "she’s aware of her tremendous powers", she’s doing all this for free! That’s right, you’ve read correctly. You get “5 money-wishes fulfilled for free, before the end of this year!” (am I the only one who feels the irony here? Free Money?!?)

All you have to do, is chose which 5 wishes you want. Hard work, you-bet! why? Here… see for yourself:

Wish no.1 win a large amount of money.
Wish no.2 win the jack-pot at lottery
Wish no.3 get an important salary bonus
Wish no.4 win a free house or a free car
Wish no.5 win at least 1 million lei (~30 euros)
Wish no.6 get a regular income, for life
Wish no.7 get your dream-job
Wish no.8 be lucky at any games
Wish no.9 become the owner of a house or apartment
Wish no.10 get a money gift from someone rich
Wish no.11 win at a casino
Wish no.12 get an unexpected inheritance
Wish no.13 be invited at the palace (?!)
Wish no.14 meet a rich and famous man/woman
Wish no.15 meet the important men of the world
Wish no.16 travel to the most beautiful places of the world
Wish no.17 marry someone rich.

I’m curious: does anyone ever not chose Wish no.2?? I mean – the jackpot is usually into millions of euros…. You’ll buy yourself everything else, afterwards… right?!? And you pick the other 4 wishes just for laughs…

I bet you’re just dying to know which magazine offers this once-in-a-life-time opportunity, eh? A worry-free life, from now on… who’d say “no”…

Well… err....I’m not saying… I’m keeping this for myself – me and the other 200 readers of this magazine. I'd tell you , but... you see… this stuff is “100% FREE AND GUARANTEED”… once you've chosen the 5 wishes, there’s no going back!

I’m not sure if it is at all possible that we all win the lottery (by this year's end), but I know this: if we’d all have everything we dream of, it would stop being a dream… if we’d all have “fabulous lives”, ‘fabulous’ would translate into ‘ordinary’. Life would be such a bore. Imagine, the horror: we’d have nothing to wish for!

hei! i'm doing you a favor!
This damned woman is taking our dreams away from us! For free.

September 18, 2006

"Destin" e un cuvant ce are sens doar in nenorocire, Cioran

I believe in karma.

it’s based on the assumption that the Soul reincarnates several times, taking along the journey whatever lesson it learns.

It implies that one cannot run away from the consequences of one’s actions. They follow you around, from one life to the next. Sooner or later, you will pay your dues!

Another implication that I find particularly exciting is that the whole bouncing from one life to the next has an educational purpose: this is how a Soul learns - lives are but opportunities to try on different personalities, different perspectives. And thus, each life has its own lesson(s).

Karma is directly connected to the lessons. If they hurt, it’s not about punishment. It’s about learning things you don't know (yet). Things you need to learn in order to move on to the next level. To grow. To get closer to 'everything'.
The things connected to your lessons – people, situations, problems – they keep showing up in your life, repeatedly, until you take notice, until you “get it”, until you learn. These are the patterns in your life; look for them, ask yourself: what am I missing here? what is this trying to teach me?

Naturally, people are lazy, and prefer comfort, and easy ways (out). They tend to shun away from responsibilities and difficulties, they shun away pains, avoiding them, pretending them away. Well, they don’t go away because these “difficulties” are the reason you are “here”. And they're meant to be ...well, "difficult".

There is such a thing as “accumulation of karma” – meaning that a specific lesson has been avoided several lives, too many lives: and the time is up. Yes, there is a time schedule. And things get worse as your time runs out. At some point, karma takes over, forcing you to face the issues you are avoiding. You cannot run forever (maybe a few lives). You can live in the moment - only for so long. Like it or not, all these moments are like a huge puzzle (i.e. your life), and they are connected (their connection is you).

The good news is that your Soul also takes along the lessons you do learn in previous lives: your dharma. Your accomplishments, your gifts, your knowledge. The Jack in your sleeve, the stuff you can depend on in your new learning experience.

I know: it's a such a drag to even consider such posibilitie ...but then, consider the alternative.

it's hard to translate Cioran... it says that -"destiny' is a word which only makes sense when you're feeling down, miserable, hopeless.")

September 13, 2006

Lie To Me

Tip of the Week by yours truly, Love Tactics!

“Even though it’s natural to want to spill your guts to somebody when you like them, do NOT be telling them all the negative things in your life and all your dirty little secrets.

Don’t talk about your insecurities and weaknesses.

It only contributes to the loss of their respect for you, which is essential for the falling in love process to occur.”

~ Tom McKnight

w h a t a l o a d o f c r a p !

withholding the truth is a lie;

an incomplete truth is also a lie.

since when honesty makes for loss of respect? respect for whom? a lier? a pretender? a coward?

and WHO would you be in love with, anyhow, not knowing them for who they really are? (super-man /super-woman?)

magic happens when a soul opens up to another.
what this guy is talking about is a magic-show (david copperfield would be proud of).
yeess! sure you can trick someone into falling in love with you (the nice, enhanced, beautiful, perfect, "you") - but that would be a lie. and lies...
they tend to turn back into froggs faster then you can fake a "true-love's kiss"

September 11, 2006

Piece By Piece Is How I'll Let Go Of You.

First of all must go,
Your scent upon my pillow,
And then I'll say goodbye to your whispers in my dreams.

And then our lips will part,
In my mind and in my heart,
'Cos your kiss Went deeper than my skin.

First of all must fly,
My dreams of you and I,
There's no point holding on to those.
And then our ties will break,
For your and my own sake,

Just remember, This is what you chose.

I'll shed like skin,
Our memories of lazy days,
And fade away the shadow of your face.

Piece by piece,
is how I'll let go of you.
Kiss by kiss,
Will leave my mind one at a time.
One at a time.
One at a time.
One at a time.

Piece By Piece, by Katie Melua

September 05, 2006

"An unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates.

pic by madalina iordache

Some say that great poetry is born out of lonely, miserable lives. And unrequited love. Somehow, the human spirit blooms out of misfortune and suffering.

Freud rethought his system into a constant battle between life and death, our life and death instincts - that is. He figured that, apart from needing the balancing of energies, the human psyche needs the constant reminder of its human limitations. Like the Creator saying to Adam and Eve: ‘do anything you please, just don’t…’. and they needed that! They needed to know where their limit laid. And, of course, their breaking the limit was a reasonable expectation. Forbid something, and it becomes desirable. Common sense.

Rules and restrictions have been driving our spiritual evolution ever since.

I don’t know what to write anymore. My life is ... fine. Just fine. No more drama, no more tension. Nothing to fix – nothing to worry about. Everything’s fine, and it’s boring the hell-out-of me!

I’ve kept a diary all my life. Alright, not all of it.

The first 14 years of my life have been … well, GREAT; there was no need to write about it, no need to complain. I was on top of the world; my world anyway. I was unbeatable, invincible, ‘my way' was ‘the way’. No one even dared to dispute that. Teachers, parents, my extended family, my friends, even strangers. I was so used to telling everybody what to do that I was never . thinking . about . Me.

I remember everything - back to when I was like 2, maybe earlier. Not even one reflective thought. Nothing. Never stopped for one second to notice who I was, what I was doing, why… Oh, how I wished I had! I miss the old me. Sometimes, I wonder if everything was well worth it.

Not thinking about your life seems such a blessing sometimes. Ignorance is a blessing.

Around 13 years of age, things changed. Many things changed – and I turned reflexive. I stopped ‘talking’, and ‘doing’, and started thinking, watching, observing. The more I watched, the more it scared me, the more depressed I became. It all looked so completely pointless.

That’s when I fist became aware of my limits in life. Outside limits. That depressed me.
Up until that point, I had always felt as if everything was within my reach – everything was attainable, possible. It was only a matter of my will: wanting or not wanting it.

And that fateful summer, I met this girl. And she had something – something denied to me, something not within my power to have: not only did she have a full set of parents, but they were also nice, loving, caring, involved parents. She had a loving family - I had one extremely busy mum; a pushy, sometimes violent, always ignoring-me mum. I was on my own. And up until that point – for 13 years – that never ever bothered me before.

But there was nothing I could do to change that. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how smart, powerful, determined, brave, ingenious, independent I was, it made no difference.
And my powerlessness to make my life what I wanted it to be made my whole universe collapse.
I suddenly became ‘powerless’. ‘Imperfect’. ‘Incomplete’. I began doubting myself, my decisions. Who was I to tell people what to do? My own life was out of my hands – what right did I have to mess with other’s lives?

It was all natural, I guess. I was interiorizing the external limit – that’s how self-discipline is formed. It should have happened long ago, as a child. My parents should have taught me about imposed restrictions – so that I would have learned how to deal with my frustration.

I started keeping a diary when I was 14. Keeping track of my misfortunes, of my depressions, my anxieties, my fears, my doubts, my pain. I don’t write when I’m happy. It would take me away from enjoying the experience. Of course I am much wiser, mature, empowered, self-willed, more complete this way. The thing is… I’ve never been truly happy again ever since.

This awareness destroyed my ability to completely enjoy life. There is always, in the most blissful moments, some part of me that’s witnessing the event. I can never go back to that state of ignorant bliss.
I don’t trust it anymore. Now I consider it an illusion.

In my weakness, I too long for it. I dream of it, try to trick myself again into that state of mind; sometimes I pretend my conscience away, like I don’t really grasp the full awareness of the situation at hand. But it’s there alright: laughing back at me: who are you trying to kid?
When I’m deeply depressed, I toy around in my mind with the possibility of escape.
Madness is one way to escape reality; death is the other. ‘Giving in’ or ‘giving up’.

I’m far too serious I guess to even consider simplistic ways like fantasy, lies, deception. These are the ways of common people! People who lie to themselves. The cheaters, the hypocrites, the weak ones. The ones that never truly dare to make a definite choice - always in the middle, always ready to jump ship, should it begin to sink: “neither dressed, nor undressed; neither on foot, nor on horseback, neither on track, nor aside it” (Romanian folklore).

I am condescendent towards such self-deceptive people cos that’s what I fear. (‘cowards’ I call them capitalizing on my publicly acknowledged courage). I don’t share some people’s fascination with mentally ill patients, nor with death. Because I’ve had first hand experience with both and, having tried them, I feel they are within my power. They are deliberate options one can make in regard to one’s life.

Self-deception, though, terrifies me.
Not being aware and not knowing it – that’s scary! Going back to Eden, losing everything we’ve learned since ‘Adam & Eve were thrown out’: that’s scary! No-way: we gotta keep going!!

And we must wake everybody up. Ignorance may be blissful, but it prevents you from knowing yourself. You never stop to acknowledge who you are, what you’re doing, why…

pentru Ingerash