July 04, 2006

"If you show me real love, baby - I will show you mine…" Paris Hilton

Listen. Real life Love isn’t going to make any birds sing, or the stars shine brighter. It does not glitter in the dark, it doesn’t keep you warm in winter, it doesn’t taste like sugar nor smell like roses, and most of all – it won’t be light entertainment.

You can’t treat it like your favorite TV series. You don’t get 30 minutes of it on a weekly basis, at convenient hours, scheduled for months in advance. You don’t get commercial brakes, and you don’t get to turn it off and go to bed.

You may get to discuss the more controversial parts with your friends, as long as you remember that they are not really part of it. Which also means you do not move on to shag your lover’s best friend when you're feeling lonely.

There are no director’s indications, and you don’t get to rehearse really important scenes. They’re supposed to catch you off guard! It doesn’t matter what you wear as there’ll be no front-page covering.

There’ll be no superstar cast as leading man/woman, burst your bubble. Sometimes the villain looks better than the hero. Be careful with your casting. There’s no box-office, so don’t worry about reviews. It doesn’t have to look good, or please an audience. Actually, it’s not supposed to please you all the time. It’s supposed to be challenging: to bring out the best in you.

There will be no unexpected developments or plot twists, unless you make them happen. Of course, praying will help, but don’t hold your breath for a fairy-godmother to come to the rescue. And you can’t use your superpowers either. You have to put in the effort – just like everybody else. Any blood or tears – will be the real thing.

Don’t try. You don’t get to edit later, you only get one time at everything. Don’t worry about doing your best, either. The only way to fail at it is when you fake it, or when you take it lightly. Be prepared: the good stuff comes right about the time when the credits start scrolling.

The uncut version. Call it ‘love’ if you must; I see it more like
a life long struggle to make a potentially explosive combination of egos embrace the most precious gift life made them: a more complete version of themselves.

"Love ya is just another one of those ambiguous turns of phrase

that help us fulfill our superficial destinies.

It says everything and nothing at the same time.

It is so airily casual, so shamelessly daft,

so nauseatingly sappy…

so extremely (dare I say) Paris Hilton-esque

that it would certainly qualify as a useful nugget

for inspiring lifelong devotion

between you and 350 of your closest “friends”

by Sash

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