July 09, 2006

Love The Hand You Were Dealt

One thing I’d like to accomplish at some point in my life, is to clean up the bullshit we feed our kids though ‘fairytales’ and bed-time stories. They are unrealistic and they support unrealistic expectations and plans for their future.

Love isn’t supposed to be easy, or aesthetically appealing; and that's because it involves putting together two different people , 24 hs a day, every day, for a seriously long time.

We know that each person is unique, right? We seem to forget all that when we look at relationships. 2 individuals are brought together by their feelings for each other, but those feelings do not (and they’re not meant to) disintegrate who they are in their own right.

It is only natural that there will not be an instant understanding, that there will be conflict of interests, differences of opinion and desires. Adjustment and some serious compromising should be in order.

The most common mistake people make is to assume that love brings some sort of psychic sensitivity towards the one you love: as in "I don’t have to actually say out loud what I need, if you love me you should know that already"
“if you show me real love....” If it is happening to you, it IS real; and it's yours.

Early life experiences, disparate glimpses of memories of parents holding or screaming at each-other, movie scenes taken out of context, crappy literature and there you are: with your very own definition of what things should be like.

When they do come, you detach yourself, you extricate yourself somehow out of the situation because it doesn’t fit! It’s not right! You find yourself... dissapointed.

It is there for you to have, and to hold, and yet to push it away, or keep yourself from actually getting involved, you ignore it, or simply pass by it, on to the real thing that’s .... coming (;-).

What are you looking for?
Oh, I don’t know. But I will recognize it when I see it.

As long as you want things that don’t fit who you actually are, and what you can actually do, you are running away from your life, instead of towards it. You don’t get to chose what reality looks like. But you do get to live it the way you see fit.

“Fate is whatever happens. Fate is inevitable; nobody controls or escapes fate.
Destiny, on the other hand, is ours to create,
and it develops through our personal responses to fate.

Fate is the cards you're dealt; destiny is how you play them. “
Antero Alli

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